Turn Back Time
by BaronessBlixen
Summary: Set in "Something Borrowed, Someone Blue" right after the balcony scene: Niles considers his missed chances to tell Daphne how he feels.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Turn Back Time**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing yada, yada.**

**Summary: Set in "Something Borrowed, Someone Blue" right after the balcony scene. Niles considers his missed chances to tell Daphne how he felt. **

**A/N: This is just the prologue, so it's very short. It kind of works as a stand-alone as well, but it is supposed to be part of a multi-chaptered story. Please read and review! Thank you. **

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Her scent – all she'd left him – had extinguished any other; suddenly, he didn't smell the orange blossoms, or the night blooming jasmine, anymore. It no longer mattered which one it was, because all that was left was Daphne's scent. Around, and inside of him. Niles feared that if he'd only take a deep breath, he'd faint. For if he did, he'd use her scent up. Until it was gone. Gone, probably forever. All alone Niles stood there left alone on the balcony. Just moments ago she'd been with him, telling him that she loved him, too. Words he had longed to hear for so long, and so many times. Then she'd taken all of it back. Daphne couldn't leave Donny, because she couldn't just leap without knowing where she'd land in the end. She couldn't leave what she knew for a chance. Even if she did love him. Had she been any other woman, had it been any other moment Niles would have felt the same.

In his mind, he retraced her steps since she left him. She would run into her family, running away from him. He didn't think she'd stay and talk with them, just passing by. They wouldn't see her confused expression, or the doubt and guilt in her eyes. Maybe they would want to keep her with them after all, to celebrate. Daphne, he knew, would decline. Saying she wanted to be with Donny. Someone reminding her how it was bad luck to spend the last night before the wedding together. Niles couldn't imagine what her reply would be to that. All of a sudden, he couldn't see her eyes anymore. Like a movie, the scene just ended and her scent was leaving him, too.

Every fiber in his body cried out for her. So many times he had almost told her. So many stories untold, unshared. They were all inside of him; like the last whiff of her scent in the air. A book composed of 'what ifs'. This particular story, the only real one, he had never meant to include. Niles couldn't help but wonder: if he'd told her sooner, had he not been the coward all those times before, would he still be standing here? On the eve of Daphne's wedding to another man? Or would this be their night; the night before their own wedding. There'd be no Donny. No Mel. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. All of this was his own fault, his own doing. If only it were possible to turn back time. To reach inside the eternal clock of life and turn its hands. Just a little bit. Niles didn't want anything else, but to be given the chance again. To tell her he loved her. To have her say it back without compromise or guilt.

Niles closed his eyes, surrendered to the impossibility. Abruptly, he opened his eyes again, trying to focus. If it were possible to go back in time, where would he even go? What moment in the past would he choose to tell her? Niles sighed. So many moments. So many missed chances and yet nothing tangible. And then he lost himself in the memories he never made. All that was left now without her. The wind having taken all of her, even her scent, replaced by the orange blossoms again, or was it night-blooming jasmine after all? Niles was certain of only one thing; his own voice rang in his ears, reminded him of what he'd told Daphne earlier: 'You don't want to spend half your life thinking about a chance you didn't take.' Niles hadn't just missed one chance, but one too many. And he wondered, and he wondered... what if, oh what if...

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

As Niles stood there alone on the balcony, his eyes wandered about aimlessly. Just like his mind did. Then, as if it were a sign, he caught a glimpse of red. Maybe the tail lights of some bypassing car in the faraway distance, or perhaps just a figment of his imagination. Nevertheless, red involuntarily reminded him of Daphne; a red dress on a fateful night seemingly a lifetime ago. The memories though, they were neither gone nor far away. Niles suddenly knew where he wanted to go if he were able to travel in time. The Snow Ball, the tango, and Daphne. That's where he'd go. Closing his eyes, Niles willed the memories to appear. They did as easily as a movie inside his mind. Only that he was not just the actor but also the director. He'd write and shoot another ending. He would change history, his own life. A sense of peace overcame him. He would never end up here on this balcony all alone, while Daphne's family roared with laughter behind the door. His heart broken into so many pieces that no one would ever be able to put it back together again, at least not rightfully. So who could blame him for going back, in his mind, to that night, to that dance and to Daphne...

_He felt everyone's eyes on him and Daphne as soon as they entered. This was what he had always wanted; not to be stared at, but to spend a night like this with a woman he adored and who wasn't afraid to show him affection as well. Daphne seemed to enjoy herself. The almost childish enthusiasm she displayed for this night matched his own. Her attempts to make it worthwhile for him lifted him up. Every few minutes, he mentally thanked the circumstances so that he had come here with Daphne. For this night, she was his woman. His angel, and his goddess. All his. He was a fool in love, yet still wearing his wedding band. The Niles, who watched from the future with his eyes shut close tightly, felt his new wedding band burn into the skin of his finger fiercely. Then he was back; back with this Daphne and this Niles. The two dancers, who put on a show for all of those high society wanna-be's to see. Even in his memory, Niles felt the rhythm of the tango, and their bodies touching close. The warmth they had created, shared, hit him and shot through him like electricity. Heartbroken Niles repeated the words his younger self confessed to Daphne euphorically. The sting he felt when she repeated the sentiments only because he knew what was to come afterwards. _

"_I knew you were a good dancer, but I had no idea you were such a good actor."_

"_We fooled everyone, didn't we?"_

"_Oh, we certainly did."_

_Heartbroken future Niles remembered painfully as he saw the expression on his younger face and decided this was the moment to start. He rewrote the scene. His alter ego, still holding Daphne's hand, didn't wait for her to go on talking. _

"_What if we didn't?" He said instead. Daphne's mouth closed again, her expression questioning. This was new for future Niles, too. It was as if he were watching a movie for the first time. He didn't know what was going to happen, just like his actors there in his memory. _

"_What? What do you mean?" She stared at their entwined hands, as if she was afraid. Future Niles watched anxiously. His eyes were fixated on Daphne, as always. She was just so radiating._

"_What if tonight wasn't acting? If I really meant everything I said?"_

"_Dr. Crane, what are you saying?" Past Niles didn't get to be a coward tonight, and he didn't get to pull away from her. Future Niles was jealous of his own fake memory. The way Daphne looked at him, the other him. Such devotion, such affection. In an instant he knew she would have never turned him away. _

"_I-I-I mean I meant what I said on the dance floor. I wasn't acting. I love you, Daphne. I'm in love with you." She was quiet. Around them, the music suddenly seemed louder and put emphasis on the silence that had spread on their table. Future Niles hadn't expected this. But then she smiled; the music seemed to subside, at least it lost all importance. It was only there to accentuate their moment._

„_I-I'm so sorry, Daphne, I didn't mean to,"_

„_Shh, it's alright, Dr. Crane. I-I do feel... the same way. It's just so overwhelming!" She smiled at him, albeit shyly. Niles had never seen her this shy before._

"_You feel the same way? Oh, Daphne!" He squeezed her hand to show her how much her words meant to him. He didn't want to give these people even more to talk about than they already did._

"_But..."_

"_No buts, Daphne. I'm so happy." Niles said breathlessly. Daphne on the other hand looked worried. Future Niles recognized the expression from earlier that night. His heart broke again; how could even his imagination betray him? _

"_You're still married." She said simply._

"_You're worried about Maris? Daphne, I'll get the divorce as soon as possible. Don't worry about her. We haven't been a couple in so long. There's no need to think of Maris." Niles reassured her and it took a moment, but her expression lit up. The whole room lit up when she smiled. _

"_Would you dance with me...Niles?" Daphne got up and held out her hand. Without a second thought, he took it. The rest of the night they spent engulfed in each other's arms dancing the night away. Starting a new, better future. A future the observant Niles would never know. He watched them until they became a blurry picture, obscured by his own tears. He had to go back. Back to his reality. Alone._

Back in the present, away from his illusions, Niles heard Daphne's boisterous family again. He could just go inside, look for Mel and find solace in her touch. His heart protested. Being with Mel at the moment was like cheating on Daphne, betraying his love for her. When in reality he had already cheated on Mel. Part of him knew he was supposed to feel guilty, but he couldn't. Because it was Daphne. He already missed her even though she was still somewhere close. Instead of dwelling on the present, he further reverted to the past. Another moment came to his mind, another moment he could have changed their romantic path.

Niles closed his teary eyes again and fell, and fell, and fell...

TBC


End file.
